Paskong Pinoy: Ain't Nobody Can Do it Like We Do

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Christmas for Pinoys is one big production number. All OSCAR Opening number put together and multiplied by 34,554 times won’t measure.  In most families, someone will always take the role of the director, the one who thinks of all gimmicks and crazy stunts to make the Christmas Eve better.

And from this director, here are some of the unique things that come out of it. 

Karoling 

There is no other part in the world where a group of children can go around the neigborhood with Soda crowns as a musical instrument to accompany their unrehearsed rendition of “Ang Pasko ay Sumapit” and we are certainly the only country that turns away carollers with nothing but a “patawad” statement. 

Hernando Guanlao: The Book Guy

Image Source: Philippine Daily Inquirer

The president of my high school and about half of the teachers there hated me. I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why but I just don’t give a fine f$%^. However, to serve as an intro to this piece, I will recall one of the many reasons they would have loved to have killed me, mutilate me and then sit on my lifeless body while laughing.

One of the things I clearly remember as the source of their hatred is my consistent record of reading books. Yes, they hated me for reading books. Alright, I need to explain this a bit.

I liked and still like reading books. Most of our teachers were fresh graduates and most of them weren’t good. They were so bad, they inspired me… to sleep. I developed an unprecedented skill of in the middle of lessons. But I passed my exams because I got everything they were teaching through books. When I got sent to the Principal’s office, I told the Principal they’ll save money if they just give us books and fire the teachers.

I got suspended. I spent my free time reading more books… and watching Voltes V.

Alex Niño: International Pinoy Comic Book Illustrator

It’s a sad day for Filipinos. The greatest pound for pound boxer, Manny Pacquiao, was knocked down cold. I have been watching boxing since I was born and I have never seen a knock down that bad. Not that it changes how I feel towards the Pacman but come on, it’s hard to see your idol go down.

In the interest of cleaning up some of the shit that’s currently dominating the hearts of the Pinoys, I’ve decided to proceed with our weekly Pinoy pride fix and hope that while you are reading this blog, you will start feeling better. I’ve also decided to do something cool, something that cuts across all segments and ages, the comic book industry.

When people talk of International Filipino comic book artists, the name Whilce Protacio comes to mind. You can’t blame them. When you create a character like Bishop, who can sit his ass like a boss and still be able blow up the whole world by absorbing the energy of all superheroes within his vicinity like mother effin’ black hole, you deserve respect. People need to be wave their hands left and right and scream like they’re in the middle of damn Metallica concert. Protacio is so badass one entry in this blog is not enough. He needs a monument, damn it.

EDSA Revolution: The First Bloodless Re Effin' volution

Benigno Aquino Jr. and Ferdinand Marcos

 When you have a tank, like one of those bigass tanks that can roll onto any car and crush it so bad it would spit out every single the freakin’ spare part like a stomach in a three-day diarrhoea and guns that could blow brains out like a freakin’ fireworks in New York and you get a direct order from your superior to shoot those mother effers and you kinda have no choice because you’re a soldier and you swore that you will follow the orders of your superiors, you will have no choice but shoot them. And quite frankly, you are gonna enjoy firing those. As much as it is noble for us to think that soldiers are there to defend the country, let’s be honest, most of them just enjoy wearing those uniforms, holding those guns, and having some chance to fire those bad boys at some point in their lives and feel no remorse because it’s their job anyway.

Well, that’s exactly the situation our soldiers were in back in 1986.