Monday, August 26, 2013

Badass Military Tactician: Fidel V. Ramos

The famous "jump for joy" 

Our country’s political history is like a mash up of Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Breaking Bad and Beverly Hills 90210. There’s a lot of strange creatures speaking languages that always sound like they are selling the souls of everyone they talk with to Satan. There’s lots of bloody murder, guddam massacres and f*ckin’ assassinations that I am pretty sure the collective blood of all those dead people could most likely bring the Read Sea back to its former volume.

There’s a lot of thievery and trickery with so many willing victims it would put the 3 Stoogies to shame. Most of all, there’s a lot of prostitution, naked men and women that f*ck unprotected and usually from behind… with no proper foreplay. Forget about being kissed before getting f*ck.

We were beaten down to slavery by the Spaniards who took the liberty of bringing us closer to our pagan past by romanticising the image of priests who were,

But of all the shit that we were forced to it, nothingcompares to the exotic delicacy that Ferdinand Marcos shoved own our throat. Nothing like being f*cked by your own countryman. He was the state leader for 25 years and screw us all every damn day of those 25 years.

He was to be toppled by a woman, Corazon Aquino, widow of Marcos’ nemesis Benigno Aquino. Not surprising, considering, she had the best training, she was a full time mother and housewife. You don’t f*ckin get any job harder than that, guddamit. Aquino, the woman, was to survive 9 coup de etat attempts to topple her presidency. Operative word, attempts.

She won every single one of those coups and had some more strength left to deal with a daughter who had the habit of getting into relationships with married men.

However, many attest that she wouldn’t have made it without the help of one man, Fidel Ramos. After all, she has never had military experience and if you are to defend a country against a group of PMA graduates, you need more than just military experience, you need military badassery.