Monday, October 29, 2012

Arnis: Truly Pinoy Truly Badass

You can say what you want about Arnis, a.k.a. Kali, a.k.a. Eskrima. You can argue that it was actually the Spaniards that brought it to the Philippines. You can even say that no country or race can actually lay ownership to the sport. If you have giant b@lls, you can even say it actually came from the Chinese or Japanese and it is an evolution of their Samurai culture.

But you have to admit, you can’t be more Pinoy than Arnis is. It’s simple and it freakin’ kicks asses like Hulk on steroids. If you are one of those people unlucky enough to ever cross an Arnis master, you would know that pissing off an Arnis master is like pissing off Zeus who hasn’t gotten laid for more than 80 days. One solid hit in the head of that wooden stick and you’d feel how a goddum tsunami would feel like if it enters your brain.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Ultimate B@d@$$: Ferdinand Marcos

The Philippines has several kick@$$ entries in the Guinness Book of World Records, the most prominent of which is the utterly b@d@$$ Ferdinand Marcos as the greatest thief of all time and his equally b@d@$$ wife, Imelda Marcos, with the biggest shoe collection in the world. The exact number of the shoes varies anywhere between 3,000 to 8,000 pairs but that doesn’t really f@#$*n’ matter does it? The minute you can go for a full year without wearing the same shoe twice is effin’ excessive.
Ferdinand Marcos
Ferdinand Marcos - declaring Martial Law
Now, much as it is utterly appalling to be known for this insane thievery spree, you have to admit that these mothereffers took thievery, human injustice, social climbing and wealth hoarding to whole new level of sh!t. The bar is so high, angels can rest their legs on it.
Ferdinand Emmanuel Edralin Marcos started his criminal life early. His father, Don Mariano Marcos was an assemblyman and representative of Ilocos Norte. In 1935, Ferdinand Marcos was 18, his father lost to his political enemy, Julio Nalundasan in the local elections. Shortly after the declaration of victory, Nalundasan was shot dead. Marcos, along with his father and two uncles, were arrested and charged with murder of Julio Nalundasan in 1938.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Ronald Ventura: Prepare For A Nosebleed

[Originally posted April 2010]
Don’t f$%#in’ say I didn’t warn you.
Let me begin by saying this week’s feature is about a Filipino internationally recognized painter, Ronald Ventura. Now, if that doesn’t automatically launch you to stratospheric heights of high-faluting madness where oxygen is so rare that it makes your brain explode and nose, ears and eyes bleed, here is more.  Someone from the New York gallery industry said that Ventura’s work, despite his penetration of the international market, perfectly illustrates the Philippine culture: It is a complex layering of images that on some level allude to the multifaceted identity of the Philippines, with influences from (different) cultures. His subjects are very contemporary—hip young people, tattoos, graffiti, cartoons from Japan and the US. All this gives the works a very urban vibe. Yet underneath this there are a lot of references to history and cultural evolution, and to a sometimes conflicted sense of national and personal identity. That’s what reveals a real depth that goes beyond the edgy subject matter.
Did I lose you already? Let me translate it to a language you will understand.
His work sells for $850,000.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Manny Pacquiao: The Standard By Which Everyone Is Bound To Be Measured

Originally posted Feb 2010

While I feel relatively confident that I can probably just post that Time Magazine cover by itself with maybe a picture of this crazy b@st@rd standing over the body of Oscar De La Hoya and it will tell the story, over the years you guys have come to expect a minimum word count from me on these sorts of articles, so perhaps some more stuff on the subject is in order.

Back in the dark days of late 90s, when the terrifying demons of the Arroyo administration possessed much of the country in its unbreakable curse, San Miguel Corporation sponsored a boxing “reality show” titled Blow by Blow. This underrated but totally epic show goes around the country hoping to capture a good raw boxing match. Well, they freakin’ overshoot! They effin’ found the boxer that would end the gaddam careers of the best fu***n’ fighters boxing has ever known – DE LA HOYA, HATTON, MARQUEZ, and MORALES f*c**n’ twice.

Efren Penaflorida: First Pinoy CNN Hero of the Year

Originally posted on February 2010
With the mother nature’s continuous landscaping project in the country, I feel morally obligated to mention at least one heartwarming story of heroism we have going for no other reason than to make us feel some semblance of hope that all is not lost.
Efren Penaflorida – one of the toughest and most undersung heroes in Philippine history, and a crazy kickass teacher who routinely (and boldly) goes where no man has gone before.
Efren Penaflorida posing before his billboard in LA, California

Onel De Guzman: He Brought Microsoft Down On Its Knees, ha!

Over a five-hour period, May 4, 2000, the I LOVE YOU virus spread across Asia, Europe and the United States via e-mail messages titled “ILOVEYOU.” The menace clogged Web servers, overwrote personal files and caused corporate IT managers to shut down e-mail systems.
CNN reported that the virus swept through banks, security firms, and Web companies. McAfee estimated that 60 to 80 percent of its Fortune 100 clients were infected by the virus. They scrambled to produce a patch that will detect the virus.

Onel De Guzman - creator of ILOVEYOU virus

Erik Spoelstra: He is Miami Heat’s Head Coach, Hot and Pinoy

Originally published on Feb 2010
Three names are consistently and perhaps internationally recognized as NBA hardcores – Tim Hardaway, Shaquille O’ Neil and Dwayne Wade. These three launch themselves in the air with ease and grace you’ll think there is an invisible staircase that moves around with them. They brave the face of their opponents no matter the height, size and shape. They outrun, outwit and freakin’ outplay anyone who gets in their way to shooting the ball. They are conditioned, trained and motivated it would probably take Superman in steroids to beat them on the court.
If you think they got to where they are because they were born with it, you couldn’t be more wrong.
One man always stands a couple of feet away who knew their potential way before the world did, who found ways how to improve their weakness and hone their strengths. He was the almighty god-of-their-basketball-universe be all and end all coach and he is one heck of a proud Pinoy – Erik Spoelstra.

ERIK SPOELSTRA - Miami Heat Head Coach Proud Pinoy
Erik does not own a blackbelt in any martial arts, have never been to the prison for more than a couple of overnighters and certainly did not fight any rebel in any country but he, without an ounce of doubt, is a balls-out effin’ guy who exert absolutely insane courage than the lead character of of Kill Bill put in the middle of professional UFC fighters, true Japanese Ninja and Muntinlupa lunatics.
At 38, Erik became the youngest NBA head coach. It comes with both prestige and responsibility. He is not new to the game. His mother, Elisa Celino, is pure Pinay and hails from Laguna. His father, Jon Spoelstra, is a long time NBA executive for Portland Trail Blazers, Denver Nuggets and New Jersey Nets. Erik played basketball for the Jesuit High School in Portland, University of of Portland, and coached and played for Tus Herten, a German professional team. He almost played for the PBA, which he says now, in hindsight he wished pushed through.
I took my time in writing this article. After the first seven personalities I wrote about, I had to find someone we can really be proud of. Erik fits this. He is the kind of Pinoy who doesn’t feel the need prove to everyone he is Pinoy because, for him, it is so gadam obvious.
His beginnings in the NBA is not glamorous, though. The legendary Pat Riley took him in as Miami Heat’s video coordinator. Erik didn’t know what the job entailed then. Turns out, he was to be in-charged of preparing scouting tapes for the team in 1995. Erik didn’t waste time in displaying some badass attitude towards his work. He was cited by Sports Illustrated for honing stars like Dwayne Wade’s shooting balance and smoothing out his release after the Flash’s return from the Athens Olympics.
Two years later he was named Assistant Coach/Video Coordinator, then promoted to Assistant Coach/Advance Scout in 1999. He became the Assistant Coach/Director of Scouting in 2001.On April of 2008, Erik Spoelstra (known to the players as “Coach Spo”) was then named successor to Pat Riley as head coach of the Miami Heat.
That story sounded simple but the work on how he got there is not. When he was scouting, he spent 20 to 25 nights a month out on the road for two years. He goes from one city to another trailing a team and writes up a report on what they do, assess individual players, make a recommendation on who to get and who to pass. On his hands, lies the NBA future of many many talents out there. Without his eye and brains, NBA would be naught in several years. He has no contact with the team he is working for other than the report he is sending.

Erik calls the shots, how cool is that?!
That’s a pretty giant mind f$%k if you ask me. Being away from home 96% of the time can move you past insanity and into the demonic world of boredom but not Erik. He didn’t just remain awesome, he managed to become great all of the gad@m time. He managed to turn the job into his advantage, he learned so many different coaching philosophies, ways of doing things, offensive and defensive schemes and ways of communicating and coaching and teaching players.
Erik is also one of those responsible for turning the basketball into a science – a game of statistical probabilities and of floor strategies. He proved that everything can be learned including opponents to beat them at their own style of play. He developed a proprietary software, a statistical database that accumulates as much information as they can for assessment. He is also in the process of putting their 300-page playbook in a notebook that players can flip through. He also wants to put it in iTouch recognizing that many players are gadget freaks. He knows it’s another way to communicate with the players. So, he is putting diagrams of plays, motivational quotes, articles about the players, and even on people with interesting lives that we can relate to.
Riley credits Erik for recognizing the use of technology in bringing fresh new ideas in the handling a team without forgetting the fact that it ends up being about the players and their performance. I don’t know about you but a simple analysis of how I should train for a freakin’ 10K run gives me a headache in titanic proportion let alone come up with a technical program where an entire NBA team worth more than my soul could give me instant clinical insanity.
To Erik, though, it’s just part of the job.
Erik is filling Pat Riley’s gigantic shoes having coached the Lakers to four NBA titles led the New York Knicks to the NBA Finals and steered the Heat to the championship in 2006. He is also a Hall of Famer.
The greatness of Erik ain’t gonna come in this decade, maybe not even in the next. His greatness as another proud Pinoy is a different story though.

... and he is single

Juan Pajota: The Pinoy More B@dass Than Chuck Norris

Originally posted on February 26, 2010
In 1942, Japanese where kicking the Americans’ @$$es so hard, $h!t were starting to come out of their mouths. The Japs bombed Pearl Harbor down to every single-cell life form and are swinging their seemingly Sauron-forged samurais on malaria-stricken American soldiers in the Philippines. The Japs ended up having 75,000 American and Pilipino Prisoners of War. Man, they were pumped!… and shocked.
The Japs believed (still do) that captivity is way below hell’s standards. They would rather die and suffer the consequence of committing the unforgivable sin than suffer in shame on the hands of the enemies. They were at their wits end on what to do with the 75K POWs they had. They didn’t have resources and certainly no desire to take care of them. So they figured, why not make them walk 90 kms, from Bataan to Cabanatuan, just because they freakin’ feel like doin’ so and while they were at it, why not hit them, stab them, cut their freakin’ throats and heads, shoot them, rape them, and refuse to give them food or water for a week. That’ll kill them, right? Or not.
Bataan Death March 1942
On the Bataan Death March, approximately 54,000 of the 75,000 prisoners reached their destination. The death toll of the march is difficult to assess as thousands of captives were able to escape from their guards. All told, approximately 5,000–10,000 Filipino and 600–650 American prisoners of war died before they could reach Camp O'Donnell
Apparently some 53,000 had the ability to not die and it enraged the Japs even more. So they turned those left alive to slaves making them work, giving them no food or water or medicine until they die. Hitler would have been put to shame.
By 1945, Americans were pissed off. They were shamed enough, that’s a given so they had nothing to lose. So Lt. Gen. Walter Krueger, assigned the 6th Ranger Battalion stationed in the Pacific to prepare themselves for a mathaf$%k!n’ raid.
Lt. Col. Henry A. Mucci, a 1936 West Point graduate, was all set to send his men and him to infiltrate the Japs camp about 30 miles behind enemy lines, assault the Cabanatuan POW Camp, liberate the prisoners and return them safely to U.S. lines before the Japanese could mount a counterattack.
One man, though, came forward and said “Yo, no disrespect, but don’t do that unless you’re on a fu$%!n mission to bury your men and what is left of your honor 80ft below the ground.” That man is JUAN PAJOTA.
Juan "Hardcore" Pajota
Mucci didn’t listen at first and no one can blame him, they know for a fact that a “Kill-All” prisoner of war policy, ordering all Japanese prison guards to execute American POWs rather than let them fall into US hands, was in effect. The order was to kill every single POW in any way possible – mass bombing, poisonous smoke, poisons, drowning, decapitation, rape, pluck out every single bodily organ they have while they were alive. It doesn’t freakin’ matter as long as it’s done.
Aight, that’s screwed.
Pajota, however, knew that an unprepared, unplanned raid driven by anger instead of strategy will only make matters worse. Not only will the POWs be killed, the soldiers that are supposed to rescue the prisoners will die as well. Pajota is not about to let that $h!t fly, not on his freakin’ watch.
Americans had to listen. This is, afterall, the h@rd@ss m0th3rf#$%3r who, when the Americans and Filipino forces surrendered in Bataan decided he ain’t gonna kiss anyone’s ass nor does he plan on getting his country and himself @$$fu#$ed. With virtually no weapons, no food, no money, he used pure badassery in raiding Japanese positions in as many places as he could go to. He burned those chinkey-eyed TV-inventing m0th3rfu#$3rs alive, kicked them in their tiny b@ll$, and broke their necks with his bare hands left, right and effin’ center.
Cabanatuan Great Raid Map
Cabanatuan Great Raid Map
Other generals agreed his ass is as tough as superman’s insignia that they promoted him as captain of the guerrillas in Nueva Ecija, his hometown. Well, he owned the place to the core. He made sure he gets to know every person, place, street, house, establishment, animal, insect, effin’ dust like the back of his freakin’ hand. He knew the place so well, he could go around the town through backflips without stopping with his eyes closed and a cigarette on his effin’ mouth!
The Americans said “Aight, you had us at effin’ hello. You lead us.” Well, Pajota came to represent. With the help of another badass Pinoy guerrilla army leader, Eduardo Joson, he asked the villagers to help them cover these towering Americans so they could sneak in deep into enemy lines. Pajota knew the terrains, he knew where to go when to go. They walked, crawled, rolled on the safest routes Pajota knew and the villagers took them in like effin’ streetkids every time they needed some rest and food. The villagers even agreed to device ways on how to keep the dogs from barking at the unfamiliar Americans. After several days of traveling, Pajota had the Americans in striking distance of the camp.
POWs on Carts
POWs on Carts
Okay, just keep in mind that this was the ‘40s. M-1 Garand rifle and M-1 carbine were considered a killing machine. Getting new resources in a place like the Philippines would take a week. Well, they didn’t have a week. They didn’t even have an effin’ day! Mucci had to carry a f$%&in’ .45 caliber pistol to the raid. Outstanding.
While moving the Americans, coordinating with locals, strategizing the raid, communicating with American generals, Pajota also managed to obtain the latest intelligence, collect enough carabao carts to transport liberated POWs too weak to walk back and prepare enough food for several hundred men. Mucci was itching to bring those Japs down but Pajota asked for one more day in order to gather additional intelligence and to allow time for a large force of Japanese transiting the area to depart.
On January 30th, the plan went into action.
The main Ranger force planned to hit the camp from two sides. The camp was relatively lightly guarded but a large force of 8,000 Japanese was camped on the far side of the river. Pajota didn’t see this as a problem, they can kill the holy h3ll out of these Japs so he volunteered his men to defend the bridge and hold off the Japanese counterattack as long as possible. Pajota got his men into position, wired the bridge with explosives, and prepared for a fight. On Pajota’s recommendation, a P-61 night fighter was scheduled to fly overhead just prior to the attack as a distraction.
At 1945 hours, Murphy fired the first shot with his almighty .45 caliber pistol, indicating 2nd Platoon of Company F was in position at the rear of the camp, the signal for the attack to commence. The Rangers went into rage like demented dragons in sugar overload.
Pajota’s men were cool like James Dean on a Calvin Klein photoshoot. They fired on the Japanese battalion in the bivouac next to Cabu Creek while the Ranger bazooka teams knocked out two tanks and a truck.
In less than 15 minutes, resistance inside the POW compound had been eliminated. They rescued 513 US POWs and were loaded up onto wooden carts which were pulled by water buffalos and driven by Pilipino villagers procured by Pajota and his men
You think that was it? Hell no.
The Japs swarmed the bridge where Pajota’s men were positioned. Pajota detonated the explosives but that didn’t destroy the bridge. It, however, created enough damage to not allow any tank to safely cross. Well, Japs were simply on it to death. Remember, they would rather burn in hell than surrender so they charged with no other end in mind that kill someone or kill themselves trying.
Pajota and his men were outnumbered – 1000 is to 1. Pajota didn’t give a f$%&. They shoot every Japs on sight and killed anyone who comes close with their bare hands. One Filipino soldier even took down four tanks. They didn’t stop until they Americans were safe. There were 21 Filipinos wounded in the battle and 4 Americans were killed, while 523 Japanese soldiers were killed or wounded.
I wouldn’t care to mention the recognition they got from the Americans because as far as I am concerned, no recognition is even close to the vicinity of what they should get for what they did for a race that, we have to admit it, SOMETIMES, still looks down on Pinoys. Well, they look down on each other, what do Pinoys expect? Pajota and his men risked their lives, the people in the village risked their lives all to save the POWs.
Because of Pajota, his men and the local villagers, 513 families got their son/husband/brother back into their home. A prospect they almost gave up on.
That’s one hell of an act, one hell of a heart, one hell of a spirit, in one hell of a man. You don’t get any more hardcore and any kinder than that.

12 Things About Arnel That Truly Rocks

Arnel Pineda - Journey's frontman
"Arnelly" to some of his friends
Y’all know the story of world’s Rock and Roll Fairytale – Arnel Pineda. There is no sense in writing about it all over again.
Instead, I will tell you stuff no one else knows except a few who are very close to him. Things that are bound to make you feel even more proud of being brown.
1. He has been offered a citizenship by Journey. He declined because he doesn’t see the sense in changing his nationality. Changing his passport will not change the color of his skin nor the cells in his blood and even if it will, why the h3ll would he want to. He is Pinoy and millions and millions of people go to Journey’s concert and it’s his voice they listen to, a Pinoy’s voice. So, why would he want to change his nationality again?
2. Most the TV shows where Journey appeared actually just wanted him, not really the whole band. It was his story they wanted to roll with. Apparently, it is “Journey’s rule” to never allow anyone in the band to fly solo.
3. He didn’t finish school and it is, perhaps, the only regret he has in his life. He is now setting up an NGO to be named AP foundation that will concentrate on providing education to street kids. He figured youtube has a lot of videos in there and it is easy to not notice other talents out there. His fans in the US already set one up. He is looking for volunteers. If you are interested, contact me. My email is somewhere in this site.
4. He is the most un-rockstar rockstar you can find. He neither drinks nor smokes even if it comes free with the territory. Rockstars are supposed to get insanely wasted and use that as an excuse whenever he thrashes hotel rooms and rip venues apart right? Well, I ain’t big on drinking but I like alcohol in my system every now and then. Man, Arnel is just clean. He gets into airplanes more often than he drinks alcohol. He is not big on soda or iced tea or any of those artificial juices. His favourite drinks are water and soy milk.That is how this rockstar chooses to roll.
Arnel Pineda and Neil Schon
The whole band was actually forced to go back to the gym because they couldn't keep up with Arnel's energy on stage
5. He is big on vegetables, fruits and fish. Yes, good ‘ol fashion hideous plants that a lot of children think is meant for animals give Arnel the energy he uses to leap like gadam hulk in steroids and sing like the retention of his b@ll$ depends on it. Those who work with artists know that it is almost a tradition to call up the artist’s handler to ask what kind of food the artist likes. His staple request is vegetable salad and fruits. He eats meat alright but he is not big on it. So if there are children reading this blog (sweet jezuz i hope none), go crazy on greens. It can turn you into a rock star.
6. He sounds more like Bryan Adams than he does Steve Perry. His natural singing voice that is. Nowadays, he doesn’t even bother to sound like Steve Perry anymore and people are responding better. His voice is more husky and more rockstar-like.
7. He is very thrifty. He doesn’t splurge on material things nor does he spoil his children. He says that his children was fine when he hardly had anything so he doesn’t see the need to change. They live in a better house, they have cars, and are in a better school. That, for him, should be more than enough.
8. Most of his clothes and accessories are provided to him for free. He has this kick@$s belt (that I wanted to steal) that was just rockstar cool. A fan asked for it and said “i’ll show you my boobs”. Guess what Arnel did – no, really, guess. Leave a comment or email me if you want to know.
9. He still carries his own clothes to shoots and shows.
10. He loves Chuck Taylors. He says the best place to buy is HongKong.
11. He is small, 5’4″ at best. U.S. size is still sometimes too big for him. He wears the female size in the U.S. if the need be. He usually gets his clothes from Affliction and Juicy Couture.
12. He is the only Filipino to ever have a 7-page spread on GQ. Do you have a copy of that?
Arnel Pineda - Proud Pinoy
Arnel says Journey takes care of him well. He couldn't ask for more
photos courtesy of

Originally Published on March 14, 2010

Jabbawockeez: The Pinoys Behind the Mask

Let me get one thing straight. I hate dancing. I hate that shit.
I know that some people can’t get enough of the wobbling, bobbling, tumbling, and pumping bodies and feet like it’s the fucking ashes of Mary Magdalene but I am not one of them. Dancing, especially hiphop, is beyond torturous. For me, it is equivalent to being skinned alive and thrown to a pool of melted salt before being showered with fresh lemon juice.
This hatred is primarily based on the fact that I can’t dance for my awsomely pathetic life, gaddamit. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t tried. Despite nature’s continuous and consistent protest, my own parents, and paid personnel begging me not to, I have given that son of a bitch a try.
To no avail. So I decided to do what every self-respecting human being does whenever they suck at something, I decided to scorn it.
That hatred, however, does not extend to the men and women who do it well, specifically to this group of boneless men called the Jabbawockeez.

The Beginning of Jabbawockeez

The Jabbawockeez is now composed of Rynan “Kid Rainen” Paguio, Phil “SB” Tayag”, Chris “Christyle” Gatdula, Joe “Punkee/Emajoenation” Larot, Kevin “KB” Brewer, Ben “Btek” Cheung, Jeff “Phi” Nguyen, and Tony Tran.
Ryan "Kid Rainen" Paguio headspin 2012
To all doubters, biters, and haters, you can kiss Kid Rainen’s head spinning ass.

Four are Pinoys: Kid Rainen, SB, Christyle and Punkee.
Yup, that’s right. The most successful hiphop group in the world is 50% Pinoy. Ha!
Of the four Pinoy members, two are founding members – Punkee and SB. They started as a trio in 2000ish. Like many other dance crews, they were one of the hundreds of thousands of dance crews trying to make a name for themselves in a nameless industry.
I know it sounds unforgivably arrogant but nonetheless true. So, I’ll say it again, the hiphop dancing industry was a nameless industry. Every dancer in every part of this beauti fuckin’ ful world were nothing more than a backup dancer. They were positioned around the main artist, regardless of how talentless the artist is, to dance in unison and dress in uniforms to create the illusion that the artist has some semblance of talent.
This, of course, only makes what Jabbawockeez has done even more kickass and badass. I mean, this was early in the 2000s. It was a time when choreographers were non-existent. I’m not kidding. Have you ever heard the self-professed savior of music called MTV ever mention who choreographed Thriller? Running Man? The god-forsaken Macarena? No. Nobody gives an ass who had the actual genius cell to conceive of dance steps that made every human being in the world jump up and dance like an obsessed lunatic on meth whenever the song plays.
Of course, there is also 99% of the world that can’t seem to make a connection between headspins, body popping, robotic movements, backflips and art.
SB, standing and looking down, because he can look cool doing anything.

The media, producers, and, pretty much the rest of the world took one look at these hiphop dancers wearing oversized hoodies, walking around on their hands, and gathering in circles while they boo and woo someone breaking every single bone in his or her body in the middle of the crowd, and said, “What the… is that a… how could… is that even… fuckin’ losers. These sellouts will not get anywhere” and walked away.
Instead of sulking, three dancers decided to shove the fuckin’ insults and doubts down the asses of everyone who dared think they can’t make it by doing exactly what others think they will never succeed in doing, dancing.
Punkee, Phil, and KB formed a group called The Muskees. Punkee, Philippines’ own felsh and blood, knowing that there are a lot of ignorant discriminating bastards that will dare judge them base on their race, suggested that they use a mask whenever they dance. That will force people to concentrate on their dance and not on their faces, races, and ages.
He also suggested the name Jabbawockeez, based on the monster created by Carol Lewis.

Three to First to Vegas

Slowly, other members started joining, each infusing their own style. Soon enough, they were able to create a dance style that is so unique, no one has been able to put a label on it, damnit.
The guys started wanting for more. They started dreaming big. They joined America’s Got Talent. They lost because… well, what the fuck do you expect with Sharon Osbourne, David Hasselfholff, and Piers Morgan?
But instead of running back to their day jobs because they need to feed their families and themselves, that’s sort of essential to stay alive, they decided to prove that kicking them out of the competition is astoundingly dumb by doing what they do best, they carried on dancing.
They joined America’s Best Dance Crew and blew away the minds of the judges, and mine, when they danced to the song Apologize. How a hiphop group who flips and pops for a living could make a dance routine to a slow song that’s so hardcore, it feels like Mozart, da Vinci, Einstein, Tesla, and Comaneci all collaborated to create it, I wouldn’t understand.
Joe "Punkee" Larot
Punkee, I’m not sure what he is doing.

The only thing I am sure about is that they kicked ass. They kicked so many assess, doubters started eating their own shit.
So, Jabbawockeez went on to become the first winner of America’s Best Dance Crew.
Now, for many of the groups that won after them, the ABDC win became the highlight of their career. Many of them essentially had nothing else going but their websites. Others were forced to continue becoming backup dancers to other artists.
Offers to become backup dancers poured but, in a true Jabbawockeez fashion, they looked around and said, “Nah! We’re good. Thanks.”
Well, “good” was an understatement. Good is when you have a regular gig as an acrobat in Cirque Du Soleil. Good is when you earn enough to eat five times a day and go on holidays once or twice a year. Good is when you are able to pay for your car’s mortgage and monthly house rent. Good is when you open your ref and find you milk can empty and know you have enough money to buy another can. That’s good.
Jabbawockeez didn’t do good. They are kicking so many asses so hard, people are starting to fly out the atmosphere. They are opening opportunities. They are elevating hip hop to a universally accepted art form. They are introducing a new culture. They are looking at all these millionaire producers in suits in the face to give them the finger.
That’s not ‘good’. That’s like battling Zeus in Olympus and coming out of it in one fuckin’ piece.
In 2010, less than 3 years since they won ABDC, they started their own show in Las fuckin’ Vegas.

Do You Understand? Do You Actually Understand?

Before you go and say ‘that’s impressive’, I want you to pause and actually think about what these fearless suckers have actually done because once you do, impressive isn’t going to cut it. Not even close. Not even in the vicinity of being close. Not even in the same damn time zone.
Chris "Christyle" Gatdula
Christyle doing an online dance tutorial
These guys who are supposedly “just dancers”, hip hop dancers, “back up dancers” are headlining their own show. They don’t have millions of dollars like the producers of Cirque or a name like that of Celine Dion or the legacy of Elvis and the Beatles. They’re just a dance crew but here they are… headlining their own effin’ show.
Theaters are being built for them. Every night, hundreds of people go to Vegas. People pay using their hard-earned cash to watch them pop, glide, break, and slide. I’m not even fuckin’ sure if that’s what they are called but fuck it.
They have also expanded their show to Australia and are making their move to take it to other parts of the U.S. beginning with the Atlantic City.
They are also the first dance crew to endorse multi-million brands. Do you get that? They are actual endorsers! Not talents, not extras, not choreographers… they are endorsers, damnit!
Not only that, they managed to do something that even Michael Jackson, Justin Bieber (forgive me for saying their names in the same breath), Whitney Houston, and other divas weren’t able to do, they put up their own record label. They own all of their songs and they own themselves.
Who’s the sellout now, bitches?

Proud Pinoy

As you all know, I don’t feature anyone here who shows no love for our country. They can be stinking bagoong to their bones but if they don’t acknowledge their heritage, I really wouldn’t give a fine fuck.
I am happy that Punkee, Kid Rainen, SB, and Chris have always been open, vocal, and hilariously proud of being Pinoy. They wear jackets and shirts with our flat, they talk in Filipino, they always say they are from the Philippines and, more importantly, they do keep known Filipino values.
Cheers to the first Pinoys who could very well be acknowledged as the first Filipinos to make it in mainstream Hollywood.