Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Magic of Efren “Bata” Reyes

Efren “Bata” Reyes is the only athlete in the world who can make his opponents and viewers multiple orgasm and pee in their pants out of fear simultaneously.
He uses that cue stick like it’s the fuckin’ lighting rod of Zeus. He points it to a pool ball and sinks it to oblivion. He makes shots that even the best physicists, mathematician, and artists thought is impossible. Every player has tried almost every conceivable trick to deny him of a victory and he managed to make those balls get into those fuckin’ holes with an accuracy that makes Bullseye look like a retired cataract-filled 90-year-old monkey.
When he walks to a competition, without teeth, smiling (see the photo), with bulging tummy, scratching his head, every player in the building knows they’re about about to be fucked… twice.
efren bata reyes smile
Are you scared yet?
Bata has humiliated every one of his rivals, at least a hundred times. Strickland, Imonen, and even Bustamante have all tried to hide the ball so hard, even fuckin’ Nostradamus can’t fuckin’ find it. But they all know that the moment Bata scratches his head, smiles to show his toothless gums and shakes his head like a giddy 15-year-old about to kiss Justin Bieber, he is about to do a magical shot that even Houdini won’t learn.
He wasn’t born with that greatness of course. He makes it look so easy but he is the first to say that he had to work hard for everything he has.
Unlike many of you reading this blog, Bata didn’t have much when he was born. At a young age, he was forced to work at the billiard hall of his uncle. I am sure this uncle is a nice guy. After all, he gave Bata a job but he was probably not as well-to-do as we would hope him to be because he couldn’t give Bata his own room.
Bata slept on the billiard table in the billiard hall. I don’t know about you but making me sleep on something that is as flat as an iron bed is enough to make my body ache like I have been beaten to death by Manny Pacquiao. Okay, maybe not that because if Pacquiao punched me, I would have died of heart attack BEFORE Pacquiao’s fist land on my body but you get the point.
Bata is not like me though, thank God. He decided to make the most out of his situation. He was already sleeping on the billiard table, might as well make the most out of it. He decided to learn it. There was a slight problem, he was too short and couldn’t see the table. Instead of giving up, which is exactly what I would have done, he decided to carry around a Coke bottle case so he can stand on it whenever he takes a shot. He really was just trying to learn the game but he overshot and managed to make the table his bitch.
It wasn’t long when he realized that he was beating other players who were ten years older than he was. Instead of bragging about it and posing like thug after each game, which is exactly what I would have done, he decided to use it to earn a living for himself. He started challenging other players for cash. He did well. After years of spending nights on a billiard table on his uncle’s pool shop, he managed to earn enough money to sleep on his pool table inside his own apartment.
His name started gaining traction and soon enough, sponsors and promoters spotted him and gave him a chance to compete on bigger competition. It wasn’t long until he became recognized as the best in the country. Instead of simply sitting on his throne and milking it like a cow on steroids, which is exactly what I would have done, he decided to pack his bags, fly to the US, and start at the bottom in his quest to test his pool skills.
No, he wasn’t really set on becoming the best in the world. He was just there to hustle and even used a different name to avoid carrying his reputation around. Again, he overshot. He managed to beat the holy hell out of his every opponent.
young efren bata reyes
Young Efren “Bata” Reyes
Bata has come far since then. He has been dubbed “The Magician” when an announcer submitted into insanity after failing to come up with an explanation on how Bata managed to sink a ball into a pocket despite having every god of Olympus stand between the ball and the pockets.
He is also acknowledged as the greatest pool player of all time. The only ones who don’t agree are Bustamante and Strickland. Let us let that slip.
I am not going to list every single competition is he has won. There’s Wikipedia for that. What I would rather do is concentrate on the lessons every Filipino can learn from Bata’s game. Like Bata, we find ourselves with obstacles that always seem impossible to overcome. Watching Bata would make us realize several ways on how to deal with these.

1. Everyone Makes a Mistake. It’s How You Recover From That Mistake That Will Define You

Here, Bata was actually going for a safety. However, the 5 ball knicked the 8 and pushed it towards a pocket. Bata found himself in the hole he himself dug. Strickland raised his hands in triumph and the two announcers pitied Bata for the colossal mistake that was about to cause him the championship.
Bata shook his head, smiled and scratched his head. After checking out about ten thousand different angles, he settled for an angle that was more awkward than pairing a polka dot pair of pants with a Hawaiian buttoned up shirt.
The announcers were resolved Bata was going to lose and so did everyone watching that evening… until Bata made the shot. That bitch went down harder than the Titanic did.



2. When Life Throws You Shit, Turn That Shit Gold

Life doesn’t always give us the best situation. In fact, we always almost always end up in the middle of shitty situations. If you resign and walk away, you will walk away stinking and looking like shit. You need to man up, concentrate, and look for a way on how you can manoeuvre around the shit to get what you want.
The video below shows his opponent making one of the best safety shots in the history of this fuckin’ civilization. The fuckin’ guy made the cue ball jump to knick 5 ball, putting every single ball on the table between the cue ball and the 5 ball.
Bata stood up, pointed his stick on the cue ball towards the side, which really didn’t make any sense, took the shot and sank the mother fuckin’ ball. Just watch the video below.

3. If You Can’t Find The Way, Make One

We always want things that seem out of reach. We dream of being an astronaut, be the next Zuckerberg, be the next Beyonce… and some of the wiser people in our lives are the first ones to offer a practical advice… not everyone can become Beyonce so finish school and get a real job. If Bata listened to every “impossible” and “undoable” word uttered in his competitions, he wouldn’t have become who he is now.
When no one else finds the road towards your dream, then swim the ocean, climb those mountains, crawl every canal… scream so loud to launch yourself in the air till your fly towards your mother fuckin’ goal. Do everything you can, do whatever it takes, and fail if you must… die… cry… but by god try.



4. Practice Until You Become One With The Force

Successful people make it look easy. We see them get their rings, walk away with their prize money, and look good good while they beat their opponents into submission but, often, the actual game is only 10 percent of the work. You need to train, practice, immerse yourself in what you do until you become so in control of your shit, Yoda will crap at the site of you.

5. If You Don’t Try The Impossible, You Will Never Make It Possible

The greatest athletes are always remembered for their successes, no one remembers their failures. The truth is that without the audacity to try for the impossible and without the guts to fail, they wouldn’t have managed to make the impossible possible.
Sure, they failed more than they have succeeded but without those failures, they wouldn’t have learned.

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